"there's a lack of sweetness in my life ..."

Current mood:fanky

it's one of those days where the air seems thick with hurt, upset runs like rivers through the lives of everyone i come in contact with. disconnected beings seem to be experiencing the same sort of heartbreak, and i am wearing the most annoying pants. not only this, but i can't seem to be able to type. the fingers are rebelling against the brain, heading off in their own directions, creating words that don't exist. what is going on here? what can i do to make everything better? can i?

shit.

but listening to "government center" at a very very loud volume in a closed and quiet photo lab helps. if only a little.

Currently listening: Modern Lovers By The Modern Lovers Release date: 05 August, 2003

hurty brain, glue-covered pants

ow ow ow. i want nothing more than to sleep all night and the next day and the next, to get rid of this headache and the slight pain in my lungs that is a harbinger of nothing good. i feel like i have been fighting off a cold for the past two years.

what's all the whining, you say? i'm currently in the thick of attempting to get things done that should have been done years ago, and to make a bunch of shirts and zines and everything else for the SF anarchist bookfair, occuring 6 days from now in the Sf county fair bldg, in golden gate park. every year i inflict this stupid event upon myself, using it as the only deadline i seem capable of respecting, ensuring that everything i've planned to do all year needs to be completed NOW. i don't know why. it's not like i am a big supporter of the reality behind a bookfair that is essentially a capitalist fun-fest. ok, maybe that sounds harsh, but i have watched the price of a table go up, seen the emphasis shift from educating to selling, sold less writing and more patches and other fashion accessories, each year swearing that it will be my last. sigh

and this year i will be without my annie danger, my tabling partner of so many years. she needed to get out of town, and i support that need. but, christ, things will be sad without her. who will yell and make me stressed and make me snap, only to make me appreciate every minute of it, once the initial shock wears off and the beer kicks in. oh, i don't even need beer to appreciate her. we dedicate ourselves, every year, to putting the "fun" in "funarchy," startling the stodgy old men that abound, giving illicit haircuts behind makeshift curtains, considering our table an oasis in the crazy crazy sea. i don't know what i will do without her.

so, if you're reading this, and you're in the area, and it's before march 18th, 2006, 10-6 pm, i would love it if you would stop by and console me. tell me a joke and pat me on the back. if you're reading this after, i bet you there will always be next year ...
sigh.

Currently listening: Solex Vs. The Hitmeister By Solex Release date: 10 March, 1998