Current mood:ridiculous
ok, marcus read my previous blog AND was forced to listen to me going on and on about how much i love san francisco, to which he replied "wow, you really don't like LA, do you?" or maybe it was more like, "wow, you really love san francisco, don't you?" so i figured some clarification was in order, and that maybe i owe the whole of southern california an apology.
before i went down to LA last week, i was itching to get out of town. everything was rubbing me all sorts of bad ways. too many people were dying. or heartbroken. or just incredibly sad. it seems to be seasonal. every summer the fog rolls in and the hurt just starts. so i was yearning for a change of scenery.
last year at this time, i ended up back in my hometown. that was a bad idea. i was gone for three weeks, way too long. i felt disconnected and crazy, and came back to the feeling that i missed just about everything. the collective i was part of never met again. people seemed to just disappear. and i broke my toe on a chair in my mom's house. at least i think i broke my toe. i never went to the hospital. but the pain was worse than i could imagine breaking a toe would feel like. and my whole foot swelled. so, there you go.
i probably should have gone to the hospital.
but, anyway, the feeling was similar, last week. the feeling that drove me to spend too much time in northampton last summer. so, i was glad to get out of here for just a few days, to have a set time, to not go too far away. i figured it would be enough to make me look at the things around me from a different angle. or at least slightly askew. at least i hoped it would.
and it did. i came back to town and felt delighted. it was like a big shiny christmas present. it wasn't so much about how hot LA was, or how much time i spent in a car, or anything else. it was almost like i discovered my life again.
but, not really anything that dramatic.
and i didn't really know how to tell all this to marcus, as we sat in dolores park, eating falafel and staring out over the financial district. so instead i watched the people having a picnic down the hill drink beer and play badminton with incredibly small children. and i turned to see a man, bare-chested and large-bellied, pantsless and with flip-flops a-flyin', flounce down the slope to our right, singing "don't you want me, baby. don't you want me, oh-oh-oh" over and over again. and i wondered where he got such fancy red and blue underwear. and then i realized that he had perhaps just said all i needed to say for me.
so, that's that. i'm off to see my friends play music. and to ride my bike crazy through these streets. and to probably sit in the park some more.
so, hooray for me.
before i went down to LA last week, i was itching to get out of town. everything was rubbing me all sorts of bad ways. too many people were dying. or heartbroken. or just incredibly sad. it seems to be seasonal. every summer the fog rolls in and the hurt just starts. so i was yearning for a change of scenery.
last year at this time, i ended up back in my hometown. that was a bad idea. i was gone for three weeks, way too long. i felt disconnected and crazy, and came back to the feeling that i missed just about everything. the collective i was part of never met again. people seemed to just disappear. and i broke my toe on a chair in my mom's house. at least i think i broke my toe. i never went to the hospital. but the pain was worse than i could imagine breaking a toe would feel like. and my whole foot swelled. so, there you go.
i probably should have gone to the hospital.
but, anyway, the feeling was similar, last week. the feeling that drove me to spend too much time in northampton last summer. so, i was glad to get out of here for just a few days, to have a set time, to not go too far away. i figured it would be enough to make me look at the things around me from a different angle. or at least slightly askew. at least i hoped it would.
and it did. i came back to town and felt delighted. it was like a big shiny christmas present. it wasn't so much about how hot LA was, or how much time i spent in a car, or anything else. it was almost like i discovered my life again.
but, not really anything that dramatic.
and i didn't really know how to tell all this to marcus, as we sat in dolores park, eating falafel and staring out over the financial district. so instead i watched the people having a picnic down the hill drink beer and play badminton with incredibly small children. and i turned to see a man, bare-chested and large-bellied, pantsless and with flip-flops a-flyin', flounce down the slope to our right, singing "don't you want me, baby. don't you want me, oh-oh-oh" over and over again. and i wondered where he got such fancy red and blue underwear. and then i realized that he had perhaps just said all i needed to say for me.
so, that's that. i'm off to see my friends play music. and to ride my bike crazy through these streets. and to probably sit in the park some more.
so, hooray for me.
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