Current mood:cranky-pants
i gave notice at the photo lab. or, rather, i left notice. i left a letter of resignation after my ten hour shift yesterday, with "dave. important." writ large on the front. i feel light, airy, full of possibility. i didn't realize how very much that place gave me a pounding headache until i engineered its passing from my life. and the pain in my head lessened a little.
and i may be going away. probably soon. but though that was the most obvious reason given for my leaving, there is so much more behind it. so many things built up upon my brain.
and it's not so much the place, or the fucked up way that our employer has of dealing with people. or, rather, not dealing with people. or the lack of adequate monetary compensation. or even the fact that i have moved from being a skilled professional, a "printer," who actually took pride in my work, to being a machine, an "operator," who pushes a button on a computer and waits for another computer to render an image that looks like crap.
it was, in the end, the lack of respect. the fact that i was rendered imbecilic by the new machine that i could not understand, and that nobody thought it worthwhile to teach me to understand. that when things went wrong it was my fault, and when things went right it obviously had nothing to do with me. that only twice that i can remember i was told i was doing a good job, that i was a person they thought it worthwhile to keep around.
and i know that that's business, that so many people i know have it so much worse than i do at the photo lab. but when a place makes pretensions of being a different sort of business, it's so much more offensive when you are able to discern the lie. everything after that just piles insult upon insult.
friday, november 3rd is my last day. the next day smirk and shotwell are playing a daytime barbecue at thee parkside. then sunday and monday are my two day birthday celebration. details are murky, but on the way. come celebrate with me, and dance and sing and feel crazy free. you can hold my hair while i puke. c'mon, its a birthday tradition.
i love all you all.
and i may be going away. probably soon. but though that was the most obvious reason given for my leaving, there is so much more behind it. so many things built up upon my brain.
and it's not so much the place, or the fucked up way that our employer has of dealing with people. or, rather, not dealing with people. or the lack of adequate monetary compensation. or even the fact that i have moved from being a skilled professional, a "printer," who actually took pride in my work, to being a machine, an "operator," who pushes a button on a computer and waits for another computer to render an image that looks like crap.
it was, in the end, the lack of respect. the fact that i was rendered imbecilic by the new machine that i could not understand, and that nobody thought it worthwhile to teach me to understand. that when things went wrong it was my fault, and when things went right it obviously had nothing to do with me. that only twice that i can remember i was told i was doing a good job, that i was a person they thought it worthwhile to keep around.
and i know that that's business, that so many people i know have it so much worse than i do at the photo lab. but when a place makes pretensions of being a different sort of business, it's so much more offensive when you are able to discern the lie. everything after that just piles insult upon insult.
friday, november 3rd is my last day. the next day smirk and shotwell are playing a daytime barbecue at thee parkside. then sunday and monday are my two day birthday celebration. details are murky, but on the way. come celebrate with me, and dance and sing and feel crazy free. you can hold my hair while i puke. c'mon, its a birthday tradition.
i love all you all.
 | Currently reading: Everything Is Illuminated: A Novel By Jonathan Safran Foer Release date: 01 April, 2003 |
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