huzzah!

school is out for winter break. i completely killed myself with over-scheduling this term so, walking out of that last class half an hour ago, my brain went numb with the possibilities of having time for myself.

watch out world, shit's gonna blow.

my whole life is a dark room ...

it's 4 am, and i'm working on my final project for photo class. i am starting to hallucinate, or at least to hear things. this is probably a bad thing, but at least it will keep me entertained while i finish these last two prints. there's nothing like seeing bunny rabbits climbing the walls just beyond the range of your vision, or hearing interesting directives hidden in songs you've heard a million times before, to keep the heart rate up and the boredom away. this is what comes from spending most of the night alone in the dark. your eyes stop working and your hearing grows acute in ways it was never supposed to.

or maybe it's just the sleep deprivation.

Currently listening: Miscellaneous T By They Might Be Giants Release date: 01 July, 1993

yes, yes ... cold, bitter heart

Current mood: giddy

in celebration of the fact that it is slightly less freezing tonight than it has been this past week, and the fact that i printed some absolutely exciting pictures tonight, and in honor of the overdose of caffeine coursing through my veins, i have decided to be in a good mood. sure, heartache like thunderous hunger makes me double over at regular intervals, and i have dug myself a variety of graves lately, being irresponsible and generally not very nice, and this morning a lady in a wheelchair made me feel absolutely horrible for locking my bike on the sidewalk, but i have decided to look beyond all these disastrous occurences and feel downright ok, even, how do you say, happy. and sure, war doesn't end and our "leaders" are murderers and my friends are often sad and crazy and NPR is telling me how to invest my money, but still my smile rages on. is this amount of chipper terminal? will i damage myself with such fateful optimism? perhaps.

so i'm off to drink some wine, stare at my lovely photos, pass out with my glasses on and see how i feel in the morning.

Currently reading: A Wild Sheep Chase : A Novel (Vintage International) By Haruki Murakami Release date: 09 April, 2002