Current mood:confused
it's not a new thing, this finding old friends online. or old friends finding me. ever since the advent of these social networking sites, or rather ever since i succumbed to their evil allure, i have been approached, or have been approaching, people that i was possibly pretty sure were dead a long time ago. or i thought they were surely not on any site like this one, so lost to my sight. or i thought they were perhaps really unhappy with the idea of ever knowing my whereabouts again. so many possibilities.
what really freaks me out, though, is not that people keep popping back into my life, but the lack of any sort of effort to go beyond what myspace deems appropriate verbal intercourse. there is very little "i'm glad you're alive," a dearth of "good to see your face," absolutely no "do you still think that maybe you still hate me?" as i get older i want more resolution, and so many many more words, than most people on here are willing to strive towards.
or maybe that is not it. i have always been inappropriately verbose, except for when the situation demands it, so maybe i ask too much from such a site as this one. the few times i have met up with the long lost in person it has been enjoyable and exciting. so maybe this is just the first step.
there are so many people that left me with gaping holes, with aches of various kinds, with yearning and wounds and so much reaching. perhaps when i find them, or when they find me, i expect the world as i know it to implode with great force. i expect flying limbs and flaming walls and general destruction.
maybe, when that doesn't happen, i feel, maybe, a little let down. or i feel, maybe, like they weren't as curious, or aching, or yearning for news of me.
i wish everyone would go back to pens and paper. that way i could just sit and wonder "what ever happened to them?"
what really freaks me out, though, is not that people keep popping back into my life, but the lack of any sort of effort to go beyond what myspace deems appropriate verbal intercourse. there is very little "i'm glad you're alive," a dearth of "good to see your face," absolutely no "do you still think that maybe you still hate me?" as i get older i want more resolution, and so many many more words, than most people on here are willing to strive towards.
or maybe that is not it. i have always been inappropriately verbose, except for when the situation demands it, so maybe i ask too much from such a site as this one. the few times i have met up with the long lost in person it has been enjoyable and exciting. so maybe this is just the first step.
there are so many people that left me with gaping holes, with aches of various kinds, with yearning and wounds and so much reaching. perhaps when i find them, or when they find me, i expect the world as i know it to implode with great force. i expect flying limbs and flaming walls and general destruction.
maybe, when that doesn't happen, i feel, maybe, a little let down. or i feel, maybe, like they weren't as curious, or aching, or yearning for news of me.
i wish everyone would go back to pens and paper. that way i could just sit and wonder "what ever happened to them?"
 | Currently listening: Blank Generation By Richard Hell & the Voidoids Release date: 1990-05-18 |
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